How to handle boys

Introduction
My name is Margarite Ronaldson, and if you are reading this article, you are probably seeking information about boys. I am an expert in the field of boys. I teach the "All About Girls" class at the all-boys school of Williams Education Center for Boys, and I have eight sons of my own. My assistant, Elise DeCarte (who has a B.A. in Boyology - yes, there is such a thing), suggested I write this article for all teenage girls out there that need help. So here it is.

Steps
1 - When you were younger, boys had cooties. Now that you are older, boys are the most wonderful things on earth. Currently, your hormones are like firecrackers, blasting and blowing up all over the place. Boys' hormones are doing the same. While you can't stop thinking about boys, guys cannot stop thinking about you. I remember my eldest son, Gregory, describing the feeling whenever he walked past the girl he liked, "Sometimes I just want to kneel down on the ground, offer her a 50-karat diamond ring, profess my deep feelings for her, and ask her to be my girlfriend." (Gregory is now happily married to a woman named Willa and has 2 children, by the way.) 2 - Whenever you feel uncomfortable around guys, they sense that uncomfort and tend to retreat. My second eldest son, Richard, had a terrible conflict with a friend of his girlfriend in his senior high school year. The friend of his girlfriend (Carrington Simpson was the friend's name) always acted like she was stepping on pins and needles around him. Richard said, "I don't think I will ever be friends with Carrington. I feel as though she avoids me, even though she is standing right next to me." (I must note that Richard and Carrington are now happily married. Strange how things like that happen, huh?) 3 - Boys find girls confusing, just like you find boys confusing. My third eldest son, Anakin (named after the Star Wars character, my husband is a major Star Wars fan!), said, and I quote, "Girls make my brain hurt when I try to figure them out." Boys understand what you are going through. When Anakin's best friend, Amy, asked him, "Why are boys so confusing?" he replied, "We aren't confusing! Why are girls so confusing?" After that brief but hilarious conversation, their friendship was deeply strengthened. 4 - Boys do not react good to flirtatious girls. They may pretend they like it, but they eventually tire of that attitude. My youngest son (the dear baby of the family! ♥), Timothy, is in 8th grade. A girl named Ramona keeps flirting with him. Litte Timmy (although he isn't so little anymore, my darling baby is growing up!) said, "I liked it at first. I liked when she played with my hair and she told me how good I was at basketball. But she doesn't know when to stop. I do not like Ramona's flirting anymore."

Tips
Conclusion: I sincerely hoped this will help you in your discovery of boys! If I had known these steps when I was your age, by golly, my best friends would have all been boys! With all sincerity, Margarite Ronaldson & Assistant Elise DeCarte